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My Life (as I live it) In Retrospect
the universe and I
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30th-Mar-2010 12:47 am(no subject)
All this about the Christian Anti-Antichrist militia people getting busted by the FBI went down in my own hometown, and my uncle is one of the top cops there. Supposedly amongst the threats were that they were going to attack a police officer's families, and I share his last name, which is pretty recognizable (as in if you see someone else with it, we're probably related). Am I worried?

Nah, not really.

But I am glad to be out of that hypocritical, conservative, ignorant town.

Now if I can just get out of this state...maybe the country too, eventually...

Anyone up for hosting an American refugee?
21st-Mar-2010 06:18 pm(no subject)
Still feeling like crud; for the first few days all I wanted to do is sleep, and now I can't sleep because I'm up all night with coughing and sinus pain. At least it's not mono or strep - it's a sinus infection, and I FINALLY got a doctor to give me antibiotics for it after it turned into an ear infection, like it always does with me. I wish doctors would listen more closely to a new patient's histories...

I took the weekend off from everyone and everything except movies and hot soup. Except my brother doesn't get the idea that I don't want to be bothered, even when I flat-out tell him "leave me alone this weekend". Argh.

I hereby give a big "thumbs down" to IHA (a health care system based around Ann Arbor). I've seen four doctors with four different ideas in the past two months and spent nearly $500 in co-pays, lab fees (the same lab tests within two weeks of each other, except for the second one had a mono test) and now an "after hours" fee for Saturday, many times as a "follow-up" that they then tell me to "follow up" again with one of the other doctors. Mind you it wasn't all for this incident, but when four doctors (well, two MD's, a DO and a NP) all say different things about the same conditions and you can't label any of them as your "main" doctor, there's a lot of confusion. Solidarity and consistency in health care is often a good thing, as long as it's being done right, and there's not a lot here. So if anyone out there's looking to go to IHA for medical care, I'd advise otherwise.

Anyone know a good (non-DO) family doctor/nurse practitioner in the Ann Arbor area, preferably closer to Saline-Milan?
6th-Mar-2010 11:48 am - I Am Become Death
It never fails. I go on a vacation, and something monumentally bad happens that utterly destroys the whole point of taking the vacation.

So I went to New Orleans and saw the ocean, and other than the extremely short timetable and a somewhat self-centered navigator that wanted the all the rights but none of the responsibilities of the navigator position, it was generally a success. Friday night, my nephew calls me and tells me that my step-brother had a massive heart attack and is on a ventricular assist device, waiting for a possible heart transplant, which will have to happen in the next few days or else his current heart will give out.

It's almost like you could bet money on it. The last four actual vacations I went on, I had two great-aunts, my Paw-Paw, and my best friend's father-in-law die (although technically my aunt Nellie died the day I went back to work). I've even told people that I'm afraid to take a vacation because I'm cursed, and it's holding true so far - every time I try to finally let my hair down and relax from all of the BS in my life, really bad things inevitably happen.

Seriously. I just can't win.
26th-Feb-2010 12:00 am - Tanked Writer Expo
After consulting the oracles (Delphi, server, Barbara Gordon, magic 8-ball) and sacrificing a tofurkey, and after Gretchen suggested it (and wanted to go too), I'm going on a road trip. I'm renting a car, taking some currency, my tent, and probably Gretchen, and heading south. My goal on this trip is to see 70F+/20C+ degree weather and probably the ocean. No directions, no waypoints, no time table (except be back by Thursday morning so Gretchen can go to work).

Hopefully I'll finally get to see Florida.

Anyone know of anything cool between Michigan and Florida that's worth seeing?

Anyone live anywhere along the way?

(road Trip next WEek, FYI)
23rd-Feb-2010 10:51 pm - School-School vs. Work-School
Since my school-school (the one I attend as a student, rather than the one I work at; in other words, university) is having Spring Break next week, I've told my work-school that I'm taking that week off, mainly because I have a lot of vacation time I have to use up and there won't be another significant break in my school-school schedule . The week after that, I'm going to a conference in Grand Rapids, MI for Thursday and Friday that is mildly entertaining by day and raucously debaucherous by night. So hopefully the next two weeks will be fairly relaxing.

Actually, I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do with my week off; all I know is that I'm not going to spend it doing "catch up" stuff like clean the house or work on languages or anything. I was thinking about maybe doing some backpacking since I'm begging for late night stargazing and can handle a day or three out in a North American winter, even though it sounds a little creepy. Maybe head south and visit my family in Virginia for a few days. Or take a random flight somewhere. Basically, I'll have nine days to do with as I please, and I have a little coin this time. Any ideas?

The first person to say "pick up a prostitute" gets a wedgie.

Grand Rapids...Mmmmmm, Grand Rapids... ;)
28th-Jan-2010 11:14 pm - Biology
Tonight in my entry-level Biology class, we had to perform an experiment where we took a water flea and exposed it to alcohol and caffeine in order to observe the changes to its heart rate. Of course I refused, especially after he mentioned that he'd seen a few die during the experiment. So now instead of doing the experiment and writing a portion of a team lab paper, the compromise I had to accept is that now I need to write the entire paper solo with fake numbers made up by the professor. All in all, it wasn't too bad; the professor was relatively cool about it, and since I'm one of the few actual science majors in the class, I'm familiar with writing science papers, so I know I can handle it. It's just the first time that being a Buddhist and a vegetarian has tangibly interfered with school. Not that I would have changed it. But now I have a much larger paper to write.
17th-Dec-2009 12:16 am(no subject)
God, I still miss her. I wish I could've fixed something somehow.
30th-Nov-2009 08:18 pm - Semi-Random, Not-So-Deep Thoughts
The main SRNSDT is that I'm glad as hell that, once I get over the shock of a bad thing, I tend to get determined to accomplish something, rather than curl up and die. Ashley's obviously going to occupy that special part of my brain reserved for a select few people I've known throughout my life, but I'm accepting that a. we're over, and b. I did everything that I thought was right that I could do to help her up to that point. I still get sad when I think about it, and I still really miss her, but right now there's not much I can do about it, so I soldier on. You can use that energy to sulk/worry/feel sorry for yourself, or to do something to improve your situation.

So here's some additional thoughts, in no particular order:

Now improved with 90% more LJ Cut than before, for that extra space-saving shine!Collapse )

I guess that was deeper than I thought it would be. Back to studying...

A final note to all of my LJ peeps - comments make LJ worth living, and I'm gonna endeavor to comment more often. I loves y'all, and I think my writing dry spell's gonna end soon.
19th-Nov-2009 04:12 pm(no subject)
It just now occurred to me that I'll probably never sleep next to her again.
18th-Nov-2009 07:17 pm(no subject)
Ashley broke up with me today.

She had been in one of her long funks lately, and I think that funk precipitated this. Between school and finding out that her cat has terminal cancer, I can understand it, but I wish she could have opened up to me. I tried to let her know that I was there for her, that I would be her wingman for getting out of it, but it didn't happen. I think she was without me for so long that she stopped thinking of me as a boyfriend, and she can't bring herself to talk to me. You can't make someone get help, no matter how badly you want to. Damn this depression/anxiety stuff...

I loved her. There are very few people that I would have put up with this much for, but somehow I was dealing with it with her. I would have gone all the way with her, and I obviously don't mean just sex. I can't explain why, because all this is a lot more than I wanted to put up with from a girlfriend, but I would have. I was going to ask her to move in on her upswing. All this waiting for her upswing...all because I held back and didn't want to push her, and she still felt like I was pushing her too much (is trying to call her twice a week too much? Is it?!?). Depression and anxiety suck so bad - it ruins lives, like hers, and by extension, mine.

There's so much more I want to say, but I can't right now. I actually bought her the coffee that she likes just last night, to give to her when she started her upswing, and now it's sitting on my counter, and I have no idea what I'm going to do with it. I also just noticed that I'm rambling...please excuse the lack of flowing storytelling elements - I just don't feel like sounding tragically romantic or anything right now.

I gotta pull myself together and think. Thinking and doing constructive things are my coping mechanisms, and I hope it kicks in soon, because this hurts really bad. I have so much I want to say, so many things I want to think about, and I just can't type much more right now. That's weird for me. This little bit isn't doing the whole situation justice, either.


Typing just isn't cutting it right now!!!


PS: If anyone tells me something along the lines of "it wasn't meant to be", whether on here or in real life, I'm going to throttle them hard, and I'm not kidding. Please, please don't let that stop you from saying anything; I just can't deal with that particular one right now.

PSS: I hope that she finds some useful help. I really, seriously and not lyingly do.
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